Yet each man kills the thing he loves,
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!
Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.
Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.
-- Oscar Wilde
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
the almost autobiography of a purple-panda seller
And then on the 7th day of may 1987 god made me, packed his bags and went for a holiday for he realized there was no need to create anymore masterpieces.
the years passed on as i was being subjected 2 what most people call necessary education,(though I still fail to see the need).
with my own consent I got deported to Chennai, to complete further degradation of the left over grey matter, the higher studies they call it( and in a more smarter manner NIFT, yea I’m studying design, I still say that it’s a mere waste of money and time and will do nothing more than making 1 totally perfect in use of google, wikipedia, and more profound in understanding the wonders of LAN and youtube.
after getting completely insane with the diverse mental retardation methods applied on me, i decided to get shifted to another city: Bangalore and started earning my living. It might sound exciting to few who think designing is painting fairy tales, but let me break the bubble for you, what you do for others is never good. Period. Even if you are eating chocolates for living, you will end up hating it at the end of the day. My life is restricted to sitting in front of a computer, so much so that i have forgotten how most humans look like, and I have been broke from the first dayi got my salary. Life my friends isn't that bright.
The adversities of life made the “lovely angel me” turn into a more politically correct-evil-minded-foul-conspiring-bling-loving-mad sinister devil who snaps/ breathes fire every time things fail 2 go her way.
See into me no more; for this ain’t me!
This is what world made me!
the years passed on as i was being subjected 2 what most people call necessary education,(though I still fail to see the need).
with my own consent I got deported to Chennai, to complete further degradation of the left over grey matter, the higher studies they call it( and in a more smarter manner NIFT, yea I’m studying design, I still say that it’s a mere waste of money and time and will do nothing more than making 1 totally perfect in use of google, wikipedia, and more profound in understanding the wonders of LAN and youtube.
after getting completely insane with the diverse mental retardation methods applied on me, i decided to get shifted to another city: Bangalore and started earning my living. It might sound exciting to few who think designing is painting fairy tales, but let me break the bubble for you, what you do for others is never good. Period. Even if you are eating chocolates for living, you will end up hating it at the end of the day. My life is restricted to sitting in front of a computer, so much so that i have forgotten how most humans look like, and I have been broke from the first dayi got my salary. Life my friends isn't that bright.
The adversities of life made the “lovely angel me” turn into a more politically correct-evil-minded-foul-conspiring-bling-loving-mad sinister devil who snaps/ breathes fire every time things fail 2 go her way.
See into me no more; for this ain’t me!
This is what world made me!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Memoirs of Sorrow
The lost moments,
the forgotten memories.
celebrating happiness and calculating grief
of broken heart and shattered dreams
the unfulfilled wishes and hopes that lost sheen
love that slipped,
the seconds that were missed
inside and out
just don't know how to go about
a piece of me,
part of mine
into oblivion it all sublimes
an extent of pain, another more,
yet another closed door
living everyday,
the memoirs of sorrow
the forgotten memories.
celebrating happiness and calculating grief
of broken heart and shattered dreams
the unfulfilled wishes and hopes that lost sheen
love that slipped,
the seconds that were missed
inside and out
just don't know how to go about
a piece of me,
part of mine
into oblivion it all sublimes
an extent of pain, another more,
yet another closed door
living everyday,
the memoirs of sorrow
.
A battle lies between what exists and what is yet to be born;
between reality and dreams.
the hopes are raised yet the promises stay unfulfilled, assurances broken and aspirations shattered.
Still the audacity of dreams and future should never be underestimated, no matter how amass the destruction is, there is nothing that can halt the cycle.
The harder we fall, the higher we end up raising our hopes for the next time.
No matter how worse the things go, there's always the next time which puts the last one to shame.
between reality and dreams.
the hopes are raised yet the promises stay unfulfilled, assurances broken and aspirations shattered.
Still the audacity of dreams and future should never be underestimated, no matter how amass the destruction is, there is nothing that can halt the cycle.
The harder we fall, the higher we end up raising our hopes for the next time.
No matter how worse the things go, there's always the next time which puts the last one to shame.
*i*
I let them make me,
now i have none to blame.
I try to deny,
but deep inside i know things aren't the same.
I pay for my actions with my name.
now i have none to blame.
I try to deny,
but deep inside i know things aren't the same.
I pay for my actions with my name.
* you know it well
Sometimes life isn't about the choices you make but the options you are left with. and you can't help but take a wrong step. Regret and remorse set in even before the action, you have no option but to live with it. bailing out isn't a part of the deal, you have to take the next step even when you know you'll fall down hard
mutterings*
Times when I can’t find the words so right,
When happiness turns into fright
Times when I want to run away, for I can’t be me
And there isn’t anything that sets me free.
It hurts to be breathing for the pains too deep to be let gone
And no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to go on.
I don’t know till when I’d be on a test.
I don’t know what they say or is it me that I detest.
I can’t shut those eyes for they still seem to cry,
Nothing ever works no matter how hard I try.
Sometimes the light seems too bright,
'cause grims' gray has replaced all that was in sight.
The next day just brings in some more bad luck,
And in the end there’s no happiness to tuck.
The times when I want to sink in and disappear,
For my presence doesn’t count
and existence another arrear
When happiness turns into fright
Times when I want to run away, for I can’t be me
And there isn’t anything that sets me free.
It hurts to be breathing for the pains too deep to be let gone
And no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to go on.
I don’t know till when I’d be on a test.
I don’t know what they say or is it me that I detest.
I can’t shut those eyes for they still seem to cry,
Nothing ever works no matter how hard I try.
Sometimes the light seems too bright,
'cause grims' gray has replaced all that was in sight.
The next day just brings in some more bad luck,
And in the end there’s no happiness to tuck.
The times when I want to sink in and disappear,
For my presence doesn’t count
and existence another arrear
forgotten monologues
Life is a series of misfortunes with a dash of good luck thrown away just at the right places, so that you never stop and always put your best foot down into another misfortune.
Yet the essence of surviving is in living without deepest regret over what could have been done, to breathe in the air that circulates life and look at the coming days as if they couldn’t have been better.
Yet the essence of surviving is in living without deepest regret over what could have been done, to breathe in the air that circulates life and look at the coming days as if they couldn’t have been better.
^monologue:religion
The essence of all, a way to teach, an expression of knowledge. The fact of knowing it all, yet accepting that none is perfect and there is a lot yet to be discovered.
The levels of imagination, it goes wilder, beyond the strangest yet not the epitome. The deepest desires unfolded, the hardest truths revealed. Of heartbreaks of triumphs, of grievances and losses, of us all. Of The mighty and the weak
Establishment of trust and faith, to keep all together to a path of purity. Leading the herd: ability and acceptance.
Creation of an eternal dream and perfect life.
The levels of imagination, it goes wilder, beyond the strangest yet not the epitome. The deepest desires unfolded, the hardest truths revealed. Of heartbreaks of triumphs, of grievances and losses, of us all. Of The mighty and the weak
Establishment of trust and faith, to keep all together to a path of purity. Leading the herd: ability and acceptance.
Creation of an eternal dream and perfect life.
**
The complexity of humanity never ceases to amaze me. We thrive our existence upon a sole creator who’s held accountable for all the happiness. The entire universe exists because of him, yet there is enough grief and sorrow in the world. What kind of intelligence would let so many lives suffer, let the poor die, evil thrive and hatch more?
stunted wisdom*
Life of mine’s a failed plan, things go more than wrong.
---
We can’t thrive on bad memories, even if we have them in abundance.
---
The past is gone,
you can't keep on holding on to it even if its good.
---
People change,
adjust,
and GET OVER IT!
---
WE make history,
so later others can celebrate what we've accomplished and mourn our losses.
---
Time doesn't make it easier,
it just gives you other things to worry about.
---
co-existence is an impossible phenomenon when its categorized under harmonious.
---
Co-incidentally- that doesn't exist,
Its all a pre-planned set up made to look like its random.
---
perfection is like a bubble,
just when you think you've had it,
it pops!
---
there's only one bigger plan,
that is how to make things worse.
---
Life's an emo bitch,
Get over it
---
---
We can’t thrive on bad memories, even if we have them in abundance.
---
The past is gone,
you can't keep on holding on to it even if its good.
---
People change,
adjust,
and GET OVER IT!
---
WE make history,
so later others can celebrate what we've accomplished and mourn our losses.
---
Time doesn't make it easier,
it just gives you other things to worry about.
---
co-existence is an impossible phenomenon when its categorized under harmonious.
---
Co-incidentally- that doesn't exist,
Its all a pre-planned set up made to look like its random.
---
perfection is like a bubble,
just when you think you've had it,
it pops!
---
there's only one bigger plan,
that is how to make things worse.
---
Life's an emo bitch,
Get over it
---
It hurts to be living the truth too. When you know that your dreams don’t have the remotest chance of coming true. You try to forget it, you realize denial just makes you go over it again and again, and acceptance just sucks the left over hope. Every moment slows down by a million and every breath just makes living impossible. It’s like being on the edge of abyss and knowing that you’ve already taken the step to fall.
*
*
us?
We are a bunch afraid to take responsibility; the influences are strong but pseudo/superficial and short-lived. We get inspired to do less and talk more. The truth is just mocked upon and reality of situation denied even when we know its happening and we don’t do anything about it. We believe that anything that is not ours is beautiful, efficient and perfect and what is ours never works; and we make it a point that it won’t. Steps to set things right are never taken. We wait for things to turn worse and give up on them. We crib and crib about how deprived we are yet we do nothing to attain privileges. We constantly dream about tomorrow when everything would set itself right, magically and what needs to be done would accomplish itself right-away. We yearn for change, for which we don’t do anything yet dream about it and wait for it to happen somehow.
Like a herd we follow; anyone who talks louder, looks stronger; afraid to take initiative and waiting for others to take the lead or most of time are too busy doing nothing. Innate, we are okay about where we lie ; no matter how much we crib and do the big-talk.
Let’s get up, for unless we do that we’ll sleep through rest of our story like we have been doing. Let’s not sit and brood on the glory which is yet to come. Let’s work towards achieving the dreams long discarded, for a passionless pursuit of what others were doing.
Let’s change ourselves.
Like a herd we follow; anyone who talks louder, looks stronger; afraid to take initiative and waiting for others to take the lead or most of time are too busy doing nothing. Innate, we are okay about where we lie ; no matter how much we crib and do the big-talk.
Let’s get up, for unless we do that we’ll sleep through rest of our story like we have been doing. Let’s not sit and brood on the glory which is yet to come. Let’s work towards achieving the dreams long discarded, for a passionless pursuit of what others were doing.
Let’s change ourselves.
end*
Oh, I am sorry!
But this is the end.
I didn’t want this,
But I can’t help
As you said,
There’s nothing wrong
So what’s there to mend?
Oh, I am sorry!
But this is the end.
But this is the end.
I didn’t want this,
But I can’t help
As you said,
There’s nothing wrong
So what’s there to mend?
Oh, I am sorry!
But this is the end.
birthday jitters*
Another year bygone,
faiths tested, minutes wasted,
hours lost yet the seconds survived.
unfulfilled wishes, the abandoned hope,
the souring dreams, the expectations that rose.
a broken heart, the shed tears
the lost smile, the happiness i fear.
a series of triumphs, hosts of despair
longing for laughter, an escaped prayer
not everything ends up being fair
the losses mourned, and the treasured gains,
oh those lovely walks in the rain,
the wind on my face,
the life we live as a race
faiths tested, minutes wasted,
hours lost yet the seconds survived.
unfulfilled wishes, the abandoned hope,
the souring dreams, the expectations that rose.
a broken heart, the shed tears
the lost smile, the happiness i fear.
a series of triumphs, hosts of despair
longing for laughter, an escaped prayer
not everything ends up being fair
the losses mourned, and the treasured gains,
oh those lovely walks in the rain,
the wind on my face,
the life we live as a race
wish*
Let me slowly blow the birthday candles,
Feel the wind on my face,
The longing in his gaze.
See the winter go spring
The sky going pink.
The clouds fading away
The trees that gently sway.
Feel the caress of every moment.
Realize the blink of my eyes
Taste the morning rain.
And feel the fading pain
Look at the people walking away
And see the emotions play
Let me hear the sound of my own laughter
And find comfort in my sobs
Make my own song
Smoke slowly the last bong. ;)
Feel the wind on my face,
The longing in his gaze.
See the winter go spring
The sky going pink.
The clouds fading away
The trees that gently sway.
Feel the caress of every moment.
Realize the blink of my eyes
Taste the morning rain.
And feel the fading pain
Look at the people walking away
And see the emotions play
Let me hear the sound of my own laughter
And find comfort in my sobs
Make my own song
Smoke slowly the last bong. ;)
O let me slowly dance away
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